No Resolutions Here

Sorry, folks.  I didn't mean for so much time to go by without posting, but sometimes life gets in the way.  Eh, it happens.

I decided that this year there would be no resolutions with the new year.  Instead, I decided to make habits. I'm figuring if i can start and maintain a new habit every 2 or 3 weeks my health will improve and I'll probably loose weight without tryting really hard.  Right now, I'm working on drinking a lot of water.  Pretty easy to do at work.  Not so easy on the weekends, but I'm really working on it, and it's getting easier. 

My next habit will be to plan out dinners for the week; healthy dinners, that it.  This habit will help me to be sure to get in more veggies at dinner, and it will help me budget food money better and will help to use leftovers more effectively.  Roast chicken yesterday?  Okay, faux chicken pot pie today.

On another note, things at work are getting weird.  The weirdo that I had such issues with a few years ago is pregnant again.  I'm very happy for her.  She and I had to have a meeting recently and we were talking about our sons. (She has twin boys about a month older than Xander).  The baby she is carrying is a girl, so we were talking about baby names.  I told her that if Chris and I were blessed with a girl the next time around we'd have trouble naming her because I love really ethnic Irish names and he doesn't.  To this, she replied, " I really don't think you're ever going to have a baby girl."  Wah?  Who says that kind of thing?  Especially to someone you're not friends with?  I dunno.  She's just a tad strange.

And just for fun, a picture of the baby for no reason. 

Life has been just a litte crazy...

Well, my title might be a tad mis leading...not so much crazy as just busy, busy, busy now that Alexander is hell bent on running.  He is trying to be as active as possible, which is fine by me because he sleeps like a champ.  Hardly a peep out of him once I put him in his crib (after milk, brushing teeth, at least 2 books, and some rocking and singing) and show him who's waiting for him (one of the puppy brothers, a stuffed bear, and a blankie).  In fact, he's in there now listening to his fisherprice musicbox/aquarium thing.

If you look at the water in the bath shot, you can see it's moving quite a bit.  He's active in the tub, too, trying to splash and kick as much as he can.  It's pretty dang entertaining.

As for me, things are a-okay.  Even though we have tons of leftover Halloween candy, and I've been helping myself to some everyday, I'm still slowly, ever so slowly, losing weight.  And that's fine.  Since I stopped WW, I've actually been thinking less about food, and I think as a result, less goes into my mouth.  I'm eating things that I would "indulge" in when I was on plan, and I would go overboard, but now I just have a little..I suppose because it's really not "bad" anymore.  It's just food.  Eh, who knows.  I'm just going to try to be aware, in a general kind of way, of what I'm eating and how often.  We'll see where is leads me. 

And while I'm here, maybe someone could tell me where the spellcheck button went?  It's making me just a little bit insane.

October 1st Update

Ah, back to the blog. It's so comfy and nice here. I'm on break at work, so I'm allowed to be doing this, but I don't have much time so I'm going bullet style:

• I decided not to be upset by the "when are you due" question. I review what I was wearing and to be honest I was wearing a frumpy sweater that is starting to lose it's shape around the middle. I did wear it while I was pregnant with Alexander, so the stomach is a tad stretched out.
• Alexander, although is fine now, had a stomach virus for a week. That's lots of diarrhea, folks. The poor little guy. We were in and out of the doctor's office. He's as good as new now.
• Alexander has a newish game he likes to play. We call it doggie diving. Chris and I discourage it. I do have it on video and will have to post it later on when I have more time and I have my at home computer to post it with. It's basically played by Alexander walking (waddling?) up to a relaxed Reuben, crawls up one side of Reuben's back and rolls down the other. It's pretty funny, and Reuben doesn't seem to mind, but it's not fair tot he dog to let the little guy do it, so we're trying to get Alexander to use pillows and large stuffed animals instead.
• I've been knitting and knitting and knitting. I've become addicted to knitting socks. I love it! And then I have socks to wear when I'm done. Greatest hobby ever...except for my old sock monkey obsession...which reminds me, I have to set up my sewing machine...

That's it for now! I'm off to read blogs while I still have a little lunch time left.

There is no Alanna, only Zuul!

I kid, but it's true that I haven't been feeling like myself lately. All I want to do is overload on sugary carbs. Yum and yuck all rolled into one. At least now that I am conscious of it, I can try to manage it. I've got to start tracking, you know, like I should be doing because I'm paying for Weight Watchers. At this rate, I'll never lose the baby fat and I don't even want to think about the fat from before Alexander came. Yowzers!

On the upside of things, I did quit my big money gym and I joined Curves and am now paying less than half what I used to. I also have been going 3 times a week during my lunch break. It's a tight squeeze, but I don't have to do it in the afternoons when I prefer to spend my time with this little guy:

He's covered in green beans and bananas in this picture...but he's cute anyway, so who cares?

I also bought myself a new camera. My old camera was working fine, but the time between pictures was excruciatingly long for using with a baby, so my mom and I went to one of those big box stores...specifically the one that is going out of business and took a look at cameras. A nice man showed me a really cool camera that was on sale, but as it turns out they were out of them. I found the same camera online at Amazon for less. So I bought it and an 8 gig memory stick. I take tons and tons of pictures now. I'm loving it.

In other news, poor Reuben's OCD and separation anxiety was getting worse. When we would leave him alone in his doggy safe area in our new house, he would rub his nose on the door until it bled. When we put up a nice doggy gate, he bit into it and spent the hour trying to (and finally succeeding) jump over it. This is a familiar space to him... we spend time as a family in this space. We tried more exercise and spending more time in the doggy safe area to no avail. His vet decided to change his meds. My poor sweet doggie is now on Prozac. Real, human Prozac. He's been on it for almost 2 weeks and we see subtle differences: He jumps readily into the car, when before we had to cajole him a little bit. His turn and scratch OC behavior on his dog bed has lessened. What's even better is that he's the same silly dog that we all know and love.

This is all I can think of for now. Perhaps I will be back later!

Only a few minutes

I have only a few minutes before Alexander might be waking up from his nap, but I thought I would check in.

I have a ton of things swirling through my mind and the biggest one is that I have to lose about 50 pounds. That is an incredibly daunting thought. I did rejoin WW and that's all well and good, but I actually have to *use* WW to my advantage. I have to work the program instead of waiting for it to work for me. Maybe I need to work out some kind of system of payment. A dollar for every .2 lost? That would be $5 a pound. A total of $250 once I've lost the 50 I'd like to lose...not enough for a whole new wardrobe, but enough for a couple of massages. I should also make a list of things I will do for myself as I lose...maybe when I lose my first 5 pounds, I'll treat myself to a nice pedicure....

I don't know, I'm at a loss. I want to lose this weight because I know that I will feel better about how I look in clothes (I know my other mental demons will be there, no worries) and I know that once Alexander is mobile that being more fit will make it easier on me.

Please, I need some ideas here, so if you can, please reply with some...

Can't Keep Up!

Things are out of hand these days! We still are not completely moved into the house; which reminds me that I have to have a post with pictures of "after" and a link to " before". We're still sleeping at the apartment and I am living out of a 56 gallon plastic container. I have Alexanders clothes on the left hand side of the box and mine on the right. As a result, I have been going to work with clothes that are waaaaaaaaaaaay to small. I'm joking, of course, but I have been going to work looking a bit slovenly. Eh, the weather has been pretty bad, and we don't have a dress code here for staff.

Alexander has been doing well. We've been calling him "Xan the Man" or Xander Salamander for kicks. He seems to like his name and all of his nicknames, including "little Schmoo".

Although I have been incredibly lax about Weight Watchers, I am starting all over now that they have the new Momentum program. It looks promising...only time (and my spare tire) will tell.

an update in bullets

Things here are going along nicely. Alexander is taking a nap and I'm not sure how much longer I've got, so I'm going to do the bulleted list thing. Here goes:

• I'm starting to get itchy when it comes to joining Weight Watchers. I know that this itchiness/motivation will last 3 weeks and then I'll get complacent again. I know this, and I must plan for it. Perhaps I will do points, which I haven't done in years, just to keep myself honest.
• My brothers have decided that Alexanders nickname should be officially "Boom Box"
• I was told by a 6 year old that Alexander has "perfect rock and roll hair"
• Breastfeeding has gotten easier. We're doing about 50% nursing and 50% formula. I nurse first at every feeding and then most of the time he gets formula after...especially at night to help him sleep longer.
• Alexander sleeps a good four hours at a time. During our middle of the night feeding, he falls asleep while feeding, so I don't have an issues getting back to bed myself! Yay for me!
• We are still not in the new house. My new washer and dryer have been delivered and installed. I can not wait to do my own laundry in my brand new LG machines!
• I go back to work Thursday the 18th. Boo! Hiss! Waaaaaaah!!!!

A brief update

I thought about what Kelly told me in her comment from my last post "Don't push yourself too hard with the weight loss. You did just bring forth a human being, after all..." I decided not to go back to WW just yet; to wait at leasat until I get the thumbs up from my doctor at my 6 week check-up. And even then might be too soon. I'm still not producing a lot of milk, so I've been trying to eat every 3 hours while I'm awake and drink tons and tons and tons of water and skim milk. Once I get my body doing what it needs to do for Alexander and I've got it under control, then I can work on what I need to do for me. I just feel blah when I look down and see my lovely stretch marks and the glorious roll of fat around my waist that is a nice awning to my c-section scar. Strangely, I don't actually feel all that bad about it. Thank God Chris is a super nice guy and has said nothing about any of it. He just smiles a lot and scratches my back in the middle of the night when I get back into bed after feeding the baby. So there is no pressure from him.

Oooh, I also joined Facebook recently. That's a ton of fun. I didn't realize how many people I haven't seen in a thousand years are on there! I have been in contact with old high school friends, old college buddies, my friend Amazon Hillary who now lives in Hawaii. Very cool!

I am still here!

I am still kickin' it here at the apartment with the little man, the gray man, and the big man.

Of course, we have been reading to Alexander everyday even though he has not one clue what we are talking about at this point, but I figure it can't hurt. If you want a kid who enjoys reading, you gotta make it together time really early. And it's something for me to do rather than explaining each move I'm making all day long...as in "Mommy unsnapping Alexander's pajamas" or "Mommy is petting the big doggie" which I know is good for the little guy but makes me feel

like I have an IQ of 50.

I think it's almost time for me to go to weight watchers. I bought myself a real pair of jeans at Old Navy this week. Size 16, which I am really happy about. What I'm unhappy about is the nice apron of flab I have hanging down at the bottom of my belly. I understand that it'll take time for my skin to unstretch, and I wouldn't trade firm skin for my little cutie, but I think getting back to WW would be helpful. Perhaps that's a little trip Alexander and I will take this week....

It's all new!

Okay, so maybe it's not "all" new. I finally went back to Weight Watchers. I had not been to that meeting house in so long, that they no longer had my booklet. I had to start all over again. New folder, new books, new everything. Honestly, I couldn't ask for a better situation. There is nothing to remind me of past failures. It's a clean state. Joan, my WW leader (who is incredibly awesome) thought this was a great thing...a fresh new start. Just what I needed! So, I've been doing really well with Core today, and I hope it continues. We'll see if I survive happy hour tomorrow...

Also, I've decided not to pay too much attention to the scale. Sometimes, you can find a way to cheat the scale: no water, skipping lunch, etc...but you can't cheat THE TAPE MEASURE. In an effort to reduce my chub and how it rubs I am going to start measuring myself every 2 weeks. I think that will be the best medicine for defeating the chub rub.

And I think I've decided what my reminder will be. Let me start off by saying that I really wanted to find something that could be with me at all times. I believe I'm going to buy myself a ring. I found several nice ones on ETSY, I'm just waiting for the "right" one to show up (I'm not all that into jewelry). There is a woman who will customize a saying or a word on a simple ring, but I can't think of anything that would give me purpose without calling out "hey, I'm trying to loose the chunk". If I think of something, I might do that.

The Chub Rub

I was just commenting to Marta's blog The PudgeBudge when I realized 2 things....I haven't posted in about forever, and I hate that. Especially since my comment to Marta was that I missed her because she's been too busy to post in about 2 days...then I realized that I'm not the only one hangin' out here sometimes. Yikes! What if someone out there misses me? It may not be true, but then again, I have sitemeter, so I know someone is lookin' around for new stuff! So here I am.

The other thing (I've actually been thinking about for days) is: How I hate the chub rub! I am so tired of having my thighs touch to the extent that they do. When I was younger, and more athletic, and 124 pounds my thighs still touched...but it was more of a brush than a touch. I'm tired of not just the thighs, but there are other areas where chub rubs me the wrong way. I hate it and it stinks. I'm ready to start again. I've been sitting at the weight all summer and it needs to start coming off. I need to set up a better plan of action. I need to get out my crock pot and make some really yummy soup. I need to cook more than 97% fat free hot dogs. It's got to get better than this...especially the internal pity party.

I need to make myself something I can hold in my hand that could symbolize the chub rub for when I have weak moments. I'm not sure what this item is going to be, but I'm going to figure something out. I think I need some suggestions from you all...so what do you think my chub rub symbol should be?

I'm working at the library at the moment; it's my first Sunday since June, so I might be posting again as I sit here and agonize over what I'll be doing to start taking the chub rub away.

First days of the school year

Only 10 more months until summer vacation! Yeah, it's that time of year again. Things have been pretty calm at work for the first 2 days of school. We have a good number of return students who understand how things are run, but we have a couple of new students who were big fish in little ponds last year...they just haven't realized yet that they are not the toughest kids at my school. This one particular young man was the "bad" and "tough" kid at his old school. He's been strutting around bragging "I got thrown out of my old school...your districts just decided to send you here" What he doesn't realize is that most of the kids have been thrown out of their own schools...it was just more than a year ago and they are continuing at this school because they are successful. I'm predicting one of two things will happen:

1. He'll stop the bragging once he hears some of the other kids stories, and/or sees that they are tons tougher than he is by how they carry themselves and ignore his bantering.


2. He'll say the wrong thing to the wrong kid and he'll get popped for it and lose all his "status" and be the low man on the totem pole until everyone forgets. Hopefully the kid who pops him won't be a girl because no one will forget that until June. Yup, the girls at my school are tougher than this kid (not that there is anything wrong or unnatural about being a strong woman!)

Other than that, not much is going on. I'm not following any specific plan, but I have reigned in my eating and I'm eating mostly core foods. I'm also in the middle of a digestive cleanse...I bought a kit at Trader Joe's last weekend. It was well priced (12.99). I like the idea of disposing of toxins. And frankly, it's keeping me from eating crap because I don't want to undo the cleanse before I even finish all the stupid pills!

Honey, I'm Killing Myself

I'm watching the ever entertaining "Honey, We're Killing the Kids" and I had that revelation...again: I know what I have to do to be successful and lose weight and yet, I'm not doing it. Ridiculous. My best weight loss is when I'm doing a variety of fun exercises and eating mostly core foods. It's just so strange that I know and understand the ins and outs of nutrition...but I can't get my emotions/motivation/self-esteem to actually get it done! WHY?

Update:

I got off my sorry ass and made a core dinner of lemon-pepper tilapia with quinoa

Day by day

I went to Target today and bought myself some stuff to help get back into gear. I got my self a small blue spiral bound notebook to use to journal my food. I also bought 2 athletic skorts! One of them is nice enough to double for work...like I can work and then just go running in it. How awesome is that.

I've decided that as part of this 600th new beginning, I'm going to take things in small increments....like 2 hours at a time.

I'm not going to do it

I'm not going to get on my own case. Like Marta commented here recently, losing weight is not a do or die situation. I refuse to drive myself crazy...especially this week where I've been hole up in a classroom from 8-5 (most of the time 4) learning about being a teacher-leader. There is a lot of moving around in this class and I come out of there totally beat! And then I drive home in a carb coma. I've decided that I'm still going to log all the stuff I ate for posterity. Then when I finally get myself together I can look back with the ghost of bad-eating-habits-past and laugh at my bagel gorge.

Other than struggling mentally with the whole process, I am tired from being in class all day...plus, I'm at work now. I want my vacation back!

The 600th New Beginning

I have been so ambivalent about doing the right thing when it comes to my body, it's not even funny. I am just not a happy person when it comes to eating, exercising, or feeling good about any of it. Yeesh! New plan of action? You betcha!

1. I am going to use a marbled notebook to write down my food. It has a ton more room and if I'm feeling crappy or I feel the need to record my mood, I've got the space. Also, I won't feel so conspicuous. Plus, because I'm going back on Core, if I'm having a hungry day, I might need the room for various fruits and veggies.


2. Even though I didn't want to, I went to a WW today. I went in between meetings so I got to hear the program spiel that I've heard before, but never from Joanie, the wonder leader.


3. I cooked a healthy dinner tonight. I cooked enough so that I can bring some to class tomorrow.


4. I need to get a good night of sleep tonight. That might make all the difference tomorrow. I'm currently taking a fabulous class about being a teacher leader. It's a great class, the professor is incredible, but the class itself is intellectually draining.

On the positive side, I have been drinking more than my fair share of water. I'm relieve to report that I've got that minor thing on my side.

Now for the down and dirty...has anyone else had Panera Bread's Cinnamon Crunch bagel with reduced fat Hazelnut cream cheese? Good lord...it's fabulous, so stay the frick away!

A Bunch of Stuff

I've got a few things to touch upon, and as you all know, I'm not afraid of jumping from one topic to another unannounced, but today I feel I should forewarn you!

First of all, I had to get up early this morning to go do some curriculum analyzing at school. when I walked Reuben in the empty lot at the end of the street...these giant foam mountains were in the creek....crazy, right? I'm fairly sure that they are soap bubbles...this afternoon they had decreased significantly.

I made a pit stop at the all powerful (and evil) Wal-you know who this afternoon and bought the new Whoppers Strawberry Milkshake candy. I loved them so much that at my next errand stop (the Vets to pick up Reuben's meds...that's another story) that I threw them away because I knew that they were in trouble.


Which brings me to my last bit...I am totally doing the FatBlokeThin weight loss challenge and I am going to ROCK! I gotta rock because I feel absolutely fat...blah.

A Quick Update

I just got back from my WW meeting and I lost a pound, so I'm now officially 179.2. Nice!

dying

Ugh, I am just dying to get into a routine. the working 12 hour days, 3 days a week thing is killing me. I used to be worried about what I was going to do with my days during summer vacations, but now I long for those mornings where I don't actually have to do anything and I can lie in, or get up and go to the gym, or for a bike ride, or go to Starbucks, or go to the library (as a patron!) Just one more week after tomorrow and I'll be home free. Then I'll be able to get into a regular Weight Watchers routine again. I haven't been to a meeting in 2 weeks. I just don't have the time or motivation. If I'm not at work (like I am right now) I'm in my pajamas at home.

I've basically given up on the 30 in 100 and I thin I need to restart it when school ends...maybe make it a tad shorter....I don't know. I need suggestions, people!

I would like to give a shout out to my blogger buddy, Marta, who weighed in at 165! I am completely jealous and insanely proud of her.

Day 60

It's day 60, at least according to my calendar where I wrote a number every 10 days when I was planning out this 30 in 100 thing. It's so frustrating to know exactly how to do the core program, and really enjoy the food, and still not be able to stick to it. Wednesday was weigh-in, I lost 2 pounds. It was also Chris' birthday, and since then I've been on a downward spiral. It has a lot to do with cheese. It usually does.

For Chris' birthday, I made a very nice cheese platter. It was also incredibly tasty...there's nothing like expensive, stinky cheese to make one happy. Especially with a nice glass of red wine. Thursday, I had a decent time with breakfast and lunch, but went to a BBQ after lunch and ate chips and dip. I had to leave to work at the library and the hostess packed me a small container of pasta salad that was very tasty, and filled with cheese. Friday night, my parents had a BBQ to celebrate Chris' birthday, and although the dinner was pretty healthy (although, not core) the dessert was killer. I brought the dessert. It was a cannoli chips and dip. You see, a bakery a few towns away had a marvelous idea. They use cannoli pastry to make triangle shaped "chips" and dribble chocolate and powdered sugar over them. Then they give you a giant container of cannoli filling in which to dip the "chips". My brother's girlfriend, Aimee, is one of those people I tend to admire when it comes to food...she's very slim and athletic, and really watches what she eats and how much of it...she was the first and second person to eat the dessert. I've never seen anyone move so fast toward a food item. She was in heaven, remarking how ingenious this was and how someone should have invented it years ago. It was that damn good.

Yesterday, I was attacked by leftover cheese and some Mike's Hard (not even the light versions) I did resolve to make today a better day. I made myself a quinoa salad with black beans, mango, onion, a lot of lime juice and a little olive oil. I'm feeling back on track. We're going to have to see where this train takes me, because I'm unsure at the moment.