Day 60

It's day 60, at least according to my calendar where I wrote a number every 10 days when I was planning out this 30 in 100 thing. It's so frustrating to know exactly how to do the core program, and really enjoy the food, and still not be able to stick to it. Wednesday was weigh-in, I lost 2 pounds. It was also Chris' birthday, and since then I've been on a downward spiral. It has a lot to do with cheese. It usually does.

For Chris' birthday, I made a very nice cheese platter. It was also incredibly tasty...there's nothing like expensive, stinky cheese to make one happy. Especially with a nice glass of red wine. Thursday, I had a decent time with breakfast and lunch, but went to a BBQ after lunch and ate chips and dip. I had to leave to work at the library and the hostess packed me a small container of pasta salad that was very tasty, and filled with cheese. Friday night, my parents had a BBQ to celebrate Chris' birthday, and although the dinner was pretty healthy (although, not core) the dessert was killer. I brought the dessert. It was a cannoli chips and dip. You see, a bakery a few towns away had a marvelous idea. They use cannoli pastry to make triangle shaped "chips" and dribble chocolate and powdered sugar over them. Then they give you a giant container of cannoli filling in which to dip the "chips". My brother's girlfriend, Aimee, is one of those people I tend to admire when it comes to food...she's very slim and athletic, and really watches what she eats and how much of it...she was the first and second person to eat the dessert. I've never seen anyone move so fast toward a food item. She was in heaven, remarking how ingenious this was and how someone should have invented it years ago. It was that damn good.

Yesterday, I was attacked by leftover cheese and some Mike's Hard (not even the light versions) I did resolve to make today a better day. I made myself a quinoa salad with black beans, mango, onion, a lot of lime juice and a little olive oil. I'm feeling back on track. We're going to have to see where this train takes me, because I'm unsure at the moment.

Fear...day 25

The last 18 hours have been dieting hell. I left my food journal at work (duh) and so I've been trying to keep track of flexies on a little piece of paper...not as effective. Plus, while Chris was out bike riding with his buddy, Mike, last night, I was attacked by girl scout cookies and almonds. I don't know what happened, but it was almost a frenzy. Well, not so much a frenzy, more like I kept finding myself in the kitchen with cookies in my hand and mouth. There was really no thought process behind it at all. That's the part that sucks.

I guess at this point, the only thing to do is to get back on that wagon and ride into the sunset and just take what the scale says on Wednesday in stride. I can't undo what was done, but I can think of that old WW philosophy about the dozen eggs. It goes something like: If you drop one egg on the floor, you're not going to look at the 11 left and throw them after it. I have to stop and get back on track right away (I'll have to control myself tonight when the really, really good cheese comes out...that might be a story in itself later.)

Added to this is that I still haven't gotten myself to the gym! Not even for a massage or yoga! Can you believe it? I certainly can.....I am a bad, bad girl.

Other than dieting woes, I am trying to get my hobbies organized, which is a joke because nothing about my life at home is organized....but I've got some projects that I want to do and getting organized will help.

Planning out the week

I love planning out the week, but it seems like I can't really stick to it. Very lame. the only thing that may get sticky this week end is dinner at my in-law, which is always a big to-do. There is always tempting, tempting food. Brie (CHEESE...my other demon, easily partnered with PIGS IN A BLANKET), almonds, rich rich savory dinner food, super dessert. It seems that every time I go, there is no plan that will stick. I'm thinking that I'll have to horde 20 flexies just for that night because it's not exactly Core-ific!

I love my mother-in-law, she is very understanding of my dieting, and she's not putting those wonderful foods out to tempt me...she's putting them out for Chris. Her only child. The man who can eat anything without repercussion. The man who eats a solid 7-9 meals a day.

The other thing I really need to do is start exercising again. I miss it, but I'm also not terribly enthusiastic about starting it up again. It's a weird thing. Maybe I need to break into it slowly...go to yoga tomorrow night like I wanted to. That might be the way to do it. Will I actually get in there? I don't know.

Other than this, things are going okay. I'm in the last quarter of school. I only have one reading report left to write. I do need to start post-testing all the students on May 1st, but that's okay. I like my job and all it's geeky little bits.

Day 2

Morning weigh in: 180.4

Today I had my National Boards test, which was a killer. To celebrate the fact that I don't have to think about this stupid process until the scores come out next November, Chris and I had wine and cheese for lunch....I planned to have a high points day...I think between the wine and cheese I used about 19 points. It's okay, it works into my devious plan (Easter dinner is Core because it's at my mother's house...also a Core-bie) I've got 10 flexies left, give or take a couple. I'm good!

Aside from the wine and cheese super lunch, I treated myself to a massage, which I greatly deserved. I think I'm going to treat myself more often. I'm going to horde up my extra $$ whenever I can so I can get a massage. Why do I work so many frickin' hours to pay bills if I can't get a massage once every month or two! I work like a dog, people!